Recently, the story of a man who married his fiancé as a virgin at 29 years of age, took the internet by storm. The obviously happy man ran to the car-mart to buy his father-in-law a Range Rover sport, in appreciation for keeping his daughter in good care.
Are virgins that rare to find, that a man would go the extra length to show his joy and disbelieve? One may ask.
Before now, it was a custom that ladies kept themselves sacred until their wedding nights, but today the reverse is the case. Civilization has substantially changed the way people perceive virginity, as less value is being placed on it.
Men no longer fancy the idea of marrying a woman who has never been with man or men before. As crazy as it may sound, they now prefer a woman who has her own sexual experiences.
Reports show that nowadays, girls freely lose their virginity before the age of 20, particular between 17 and 18, after secondary school.
Post-Nigeria, in a recent survey conducted in the Federal Capital Territory, FCT, Abuja, by our correspondent, revealed that many bachelors and indeed married men, believe that there are no virgins in Nigeria.
On their preference between virgins and non-virgins, majority of the men, preferred an experienced woman (non-virgins) to virgins, while others were indifferent.
Nonso, a 26-year old graduate said, that finding virgins at age 19 in this computer age would be a miracle, stressing emphatically that even if they were, marring them would be a bombshell.
“Haven’t you heard that the best wife a man can get, ‘is a former prostitute’? I have had great sexual experiences and I can’t kill the vibe by marrying a novice. Wait a minute, are there still virgins?” He asked.
Another bachelor, Terna, had a different view, he said: “Every man would want to settle down with a girl that doesn’t have a nasty past. There is nothing as rewarding like being with someone that respects her dignity as a woman, and you are the first and only man in her life.
“No ex-boyfriend, no secrete, no dirty past life and I can go to bed with my eyes closed, because her sexual life began with me. Who wouldn’t want that?” the 33 year-old said.
An academician (married) shouted, “I can’t go through the suffering…. So marrying a virgin is out of the question for me.”
Another married man however, said, “I am married, and I certainly didn’t marry a virgin. I can’t imagine virginity being a deal-maker or deal-breaker, but all things being equal, I’d rather marry a non-virgin. Experience is the best teacher”.
Kenneth Kelechi, a 40-year old divorced businessman, believes that because of a virgin’s inexperience with men, they may be more prone to promiscuity unlike their experienced counterparts.
“Marrying a virgin for me is like learning on the job. If you have a qualification, but lack experience, you can’t be efficient. An inexperienced woman can easily be influenced negatively to cheat, or want to have the adventure she never had as a spinster, but a non-virgin has tasted it all, and she is ready to settle down. She may not be easily moved by the next guy that makes advances at her. It is nothing new to her”, Kenneth stressed.
Joey, a single Lawyer, noted that: “I must not marry a virgin. That she is a virgin doesn’t mean she is pure. And on the flip side of the coin, that she is not a virgin doesn’t mean she lacks the character of purity. Personally I can marry any girl, “virgin or not”. So long as she shows me that I’m the man of her dreams. It takes a lot more than good sex for a marriage to work.
“And no marriage can do well without good sex either. I mean which man doesn’t like a spontaneous woman?” He added.
Mr. Johnson who married his wife as a virgin, completely disagreed with a friend who said marrying a virgin would be trouble, noting that, because she started having sexual knowledge late, she may get out of control later.
Johnson, affirmed that, “it doesn’t matter if she is experienced or not. A promiscuous woman is a promiscuous woman, be her a virgin or not. But I still want my wife to be a virgin. Starting our journey together, it would feel really good to have my woman entirely for myself”.
James (single) said: “Girls lie too much these days. One time a girl told me she was a virgin. I was so frightened to even touch her, only for me to discover later that she wasn’t. For me I believe once the box is opened, it loses its value. So I would prefer to marry a virgin. I will trust and respect her more”.
Jumpa, a teacher argued that men want to be with a virgin. “It’s a matter of absolute jealousy, because no man wants to know that Mr. X had something to do with is woman. We want to guard our territories jealously, so we don’t want to share. I will certainly go for a virgin for originality and the value. I want to be her first and her last”.
Others however, had different opinions. Mr. Segun, a public servant who is also married, said that if he were to re-marry again, it wouldn’t still matter if the woman is a virgin or not, stressing that if he loves a woman enough to wife her, then the issue of virginity should not be a barrier.
“As for me be a virgin or not, it’s not a criterion in marriage.”
Aminu, a student asserted that it does not matter if she is experienced or not. What matters is a happy home. “Am not going for her virginity, she will lose it eventually. So what is the fuss with virginity anyways?”
According a man who pleaded anonymity, “being a virgin does not guarantee a happy marriage, but it earns trust.
“You might be a virgin, but if your attitude and character is zero, you are not yet ready for a happy home”, he added.
In the course of this survey, Post-Nigeria deduced that females’ virginity have a price tag on it.
Not every man may value it, but they overwhelmingly want it. So do men generally do want to marry virgins? What is your take?
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